Errors

We have a very complicated photocopier at work which is much too clever for my liking, It is fitted with a "blithering idiot" sensor which I activate whenever I come within 5 meters of it. A couple of weeks ago I needed a two page document urgently. I put in my secret code - 956 - and printed the document. I then decided it might be a good idea to print a second copy to be on the safe side. The machine warned me that I was faffing about and would now need to enter my secret code again if it was going to action my request. I entered the code, took the second copy from the rack and proceeded to complete my work. A lady who is good friends with the copier arrived a few minutes later and asked. "Who needs all these copies of this document?" "Not me," I replied smugly. The lady held up the 407th copy of the 956 copies of my document.                                                                     I'm not sure that you're supposed to pull the plug out of a state of the art machine but I panicked.

Later that day I went to the induction service of a new rector in an Anglican church. The hymn was  Here I am Lord" It begins "I the Lord of earth and sky, I have heard my people cry" I know the hymn so was singing confidently. Alas nobody told me that Daniel Schutte had decided to put a spare bar in after the semi-breve of "save." half way through the verse.  I hope the Bishop of Leicester and the other 200 dignitaries enjoyed my solo line "I who made the stars of night." I turned to the lady next to me and by way of apology whispered "I'm non-conformist" She hesitated for a moment and then said "I'm sure God wont mind."