I’m a turkey. You’ve no idea what it’s like being a turkey have you?
I’ve escaped this year, but I’m not likely to get away with it two years
running.
Why turkey? Why not cauliflower cheese, that way nobody gets hurt.
I don’t like Christmas, it’s too painful. Sixteen of my mates last
Thursday, all hanging there by their feet, eyes rolled back into their heads,
beaks still and silent.
Whoever started Christmas must have had no idea about suffering, they
mustn’t have known what it’s like to sacrifice your life for people who just
think it’s all a big laugh and an excuse to get drunk.
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