Unsuitable

 

This week my husband needed a suit for my Mum's funeral. He has lost 5 stones in weight recently so his old suits are too big. I found one that was dark enough to serve the purpose and painstakingly altered the waistband on the trousers to fit. As long as he kept his jacket on, the baggy backside would have been fairly well hidden.

I called the dry cleaners who wanted £18 to clean the suit. I decided I would just give it a good steam clean myself and that would freshen it up.

I thoroughly rinsed the steam mop reservoir and laid the suit out ready for the cleaning procedure.

It was a few moments before the bleach in the tube between the reservoir and the steam outlet made contact with the suit jacket and the spots didn't actually go orange until I'd steamed the entire garment. My husband was still confident he could wear the suit at the graveside. I was less convinced.

Waste disposal

 There were three instructions on this bin and together they caused me a problem. I was more than ready to dispose of my rubbish considerately and carefully and happy to try it without touching any of the bin's surfaces, however my attempts at doing it from a 2 metre distance proved repeatedly futile. 

If the bin had been open to the elements I am pretty confident I could have achieved my goal in three or four tries. My problem was that the fixed lid for stubbing out cigarettes, seriously reduced my target area. It was quite a windy day and and my empty paper cup proved prone to drift.

I'm sorry to admit that on my eventual successful considerate rubbish disposal, I might have been slightly closer than 2 metres from the bin although I don't think anyone still watching would have blamed me.

Sometimes we find targets difficult to hit. There seem to be too many stipulations and we don't have the time or the patience to fulfil everything demanded of us. I think one of the reasons I love Christianity as a faith and Jesus as a person is because he removed the need for me to get rid of my rubbish by following a set of impossible rules. He just took the rubbish off me and dealt with it. 

Off the beaten track.

 Strolling briskly along at Bradgate Park  this week, I managed to miss my footing at the edge of the very broad tarmacadam path which gave way to uneven grass and stones. I pitched forward at high speed, propelled by the weight of a haversack containing a whole cooked chicken, a carton of orange juice, a tub of coleslaw, half a pound of butter, two frozen ice packs, a jar of caramelized onion relish, knives, forks, spoons, plates, a large flask of boiling water, a packet of chocolate brownies, some shortbread biscuits, four bananas, two jars of coffee and two French sticks. As I skidded along the ground in an ungainly manner, I quite enjoyed the gasps from the crowd of people I had tried to pass as I rushed to take the food to the picnic spot. A very kind couple helped me to my feet and sympathised with me as I limped to join my family, relieved that the only thing I had broken was a french stick. 

Two things occurred to me about this clumsy escapade. Firstly how important it is to keep to the path instead of trying a crafty short cut, and secondly how much the baggage we carry can make us unbalanced during what should be a minor mishap. You may be familiar with the Bible verse that says, "Casting all your care upon him (Jesus) because he cares for you" In life we often carry 'baggage' which seems to shove us in the back and turn a moment of difficulty into a full blown crisis. There's really no need to feel unbalanced when we hand our heaviness of heart and mind over to Jesus and let him carry it. You might be perfectly able to cope most of the time, but when your foot slips it's easier to stay upright if you aren't already overburdened. I love  this verse in Psalm 94 "I cried out, "I'm slipping!". but your unfailing love, O Lord, supported me."

 

Seams and wombats

 Last week I made myself a dress. The skirt part required  me to sew in two side pockets. I unpicked the first pocket several times before finally succeeding and deciding I would forgo pocket two. After gathering the skirt with three lines of running stitch I attached it to the bodice and overlocked the seam.  It fitted well and I tried slipping my hand into the right hand pocket. After a few failed attempts I looked down to check the whereabouts of my neatly finished pocket. The side pocket had disappeared. Further examination revealed that the pocket was sitting neatly above my buttocks in the style of a wombat's pouch. It transpired that I had sewn the skirt to the bodice with the side seams at the back and front instead of the left and right. After laughing quite a bit, I thought about the difficulty of lining up seams, and that led me to the virtue of a seamless garment such as the one Jesus had taken off him when he was crucified. We read about it in John chapter 19. "When the soldiers had crucified Jesus, they put his garments into four piles, one for each of them, But they said "Let's not tear up his robe," for it was seamless. "Let's throw dice to see who gets it." This fulfilled the Scripture from Psalm 22 that said "They divided my clothes among them and threw dice for my robe." I was amazed once again that a prophecy from a Jewish book written seven hundred years earlier would be fulfilled by some Roman soldiers at the foot of the cross where Jesus carried away the sins of the world. 

 

 

 

Still water

 

Today I bought some still spring water. It turned out not to be still. I stood up all five bottles on the conveyor belt which gave a sudden jolt as it began to move.  All five bottles fell over and one rolled off the creeping belt. I delayed it's fall with my hand and knocked it deftly onto my foot from whence it rolled eagerly towards the door as I winced from the impact. I had not taken my own bag and was too ashamed to buy one as that may have indicated my lack of commitment to net zero. Having wheeled the trolley to my car I loaded the five bottles into the boot and took them to my house. I doubt the water remained still as we journeyed. When I opened the boot, one of the five bottles rolled out and began to make its way down the street.  Those five bottles were the least still water I have ever had the misfortune to meet.  

My outing reminded me of Psalm 23. "He leads me beside the still waters" The Psalm is famously about the Lord our shepherd leading us through the stillness and through the trauma. Waters are not always still, pastures are not always green, but when the shadows darken our path and the difficulties surround our table, the Lord still leads us, if we let him. 

Fire escape

 Staying in little flat in Telford, I was really hoping I wouldn't set fire to anything.  The fire exit was clearly marked but there were a number of obstacles to overcome before I could secure my safety in the gated brick courtyard just outside the window. First of all, being short and fat I couldn't reach the handle of the window to open it, secondly I couldn't climb onto the draining board, thirdly I don't think I could possibly have fitted through the window.  Nevertheless, the necessary health and safety rules had been followed, the escape sign was displayed and the landlord was within his rights to allow a little fat woman to die in the flames, and serve her right.

As a Christian I am very confident that escape from death is less convoluted than escape from my Telford flat. The Bible tells me in Psalm 68 that "Our God is a God who saves, from the Sovereign Lord comes escape from death." I don't have to lean over and climb up and squeeze through, God lifts me from death to life in one effortless moment as I trust Him.

 

Covered raisins

 Today I found this packet of "Covered Raisins." I was suspicious. Covered with what?  Never one to reject an opportunity to improve my emotional well being, I bought and ate them. Once my task was complete I looked on the back of the empty packet and happily discovered that cocoa was one of the ingredients. So they were 'nearly chocolate covered raisins' which might not have been a great title either.

As is often the case with my blog, a verse from the Bible came to mind as I contemplated the covered raisins, it's from Psalm 91. "He will keep you safe from hidden dangers ...He will cover you with his wings, you will be safe in his care." 

 I do love that God has got me covered.

No bags under your eyes

I went to buy an almond croissant today. The store has initiated a new system for picking up bakery goods. The printed message explains why the paper bag I was hoping to put my croissant in no longer exists and there are no metal tongues either. 

I picked up my croissant with the single sheet of paper, reminiscent of my grandmother's newspaper squares hanging from a nail in the outside toilet of her yard.

So far so good, but I also wanted two pecan plaits. Holding the croissant carefully in one hand I yanked another piece of picking paper from the string fastening them together. I wrapped it round a pecan plait. That was both hands full. Trying not to squash the freshly picked plait, I tore a third sheet of paper and maneuvered dexterously to encompass my third item. The sheets were sufficiently large to cover the pecan pastries but would not fully wrap the croissant. There were no further instructions. I stood for a moment with the three tasty morsels balanced in my two hands. 

 At length, I spied the plastic bags almost imperceptible amongst    the silver trays. With some spare fingers I caught hold of a bag and with no little effort, transferred my goods into the possibly recycled plastic bag full of little holes.

I carried the items to the self service till and placed the bag on the scanner. Selecting bakery and then croissant, I hit the 1 item button. I then selected bakery and pecan plait. This was too much for the self service till because the bag contained three carefully paper wrapped items which were not identical. What was I to do? Should I reach into the bag and using the paper, remove the croissant and put it on the weighing scales. The till had already called for assistance.

The very helpful assistance arrived and told me to enter three almond croissants which I dutifully did.

I do not think buying three cakes should have been quite that stressful. In the Bible book of Numbers there are instructions for double wrapping items but God adds a carrying frame because he understands that wrapping and carrying multiple items isn't so easy. Psalm 139 talks about God wrapping me up, hemming me in and then holding me in his hand. I'm so glad God doesn't shove me in a bag with a load of other people and treat us all the same, he carefully wraps me and holds me and values me.

 

 

Troglodyte

As far as I remember, my Dad used to tell me that a Troglodyte was a creature whose head fell off if it nodded. I thought of this when I read an article this week about how using your mobile phone can make you a hunchback, Our heads weigh between 10 and 12 pounds (I know this because somebody told me that to get rid of 12 pounds of ugly fat I should chop my head off) but when we angle them down 15 degrees, they effectively weigh 27lb. At a 60 degree angle they weigh some 60lb. For Christmas I had some glasses which allow you to look straight ahead and read a book on your lap, I knew they were a useful gift but had not realised their potential health benefits.
In Psalm 3 verse 3 I read that God is my glory and the lifter up of my head. I have always liked that verse but since my recent discovery, it has taken on new significance. If you are tempted to spend a lot of time looking down, either at your electronic device or at life in general, can I encourage you to allow God to lift your head. It will be good for your neck and for your soul.

Last week I had cause to phone a hospital ward to confirm an appointment to visit a patient. The phone was answered quickly and I explained I was calling to confirm a visit at 11a.m. and would that still be convenient. The person who answered the phone said "No, definitely not." I asked the reason for that and was told that the decision had been passed on by someone else. I asked to speak to the someone else. The man passed the phone to someone else and said, "Can you finish this call for me?"  The next poor man clearly had no idea how to finish the call and abruptly rang off. 

Calling back sometime later, the phone was answered by a different person on a different ward. I questioned why the number I had been given for the ward I wanted to visit, was the same number as their ward and was told, "We've taken the handset to a different ward." In the end I just turned up at the hospital and took my chances.

Patients answering ward phones probably isn't a brilliant idea. Patients making up their own answers to inquiries is less than helpful. It's such a relief that when I call on God he hasn't wandered off and left me to someone incompetent to answer.

 

 Unbelievably this orange and cranberry item with the warming fruity fragrance, is toilet roll! You will be glad to know it has less plastic packaging. We don't know what it has less plastic packaging than, but still, it's  good to be reassured. The first Christmas was a very earthy affair, which involved baby poo and animal poo. God becoming a man wasn't dressed up with an orange and cranberry fragrance, it was God getting to the bottom of our problem in the most effective way possible.  There are some things in our lives that need dealing with. They aren't pretty and they aren't sweet and left unattended they are going to stink. Christmas is about God coming to clean up the mess that we humans had got ourselves into. Once we let him do that, our lives are enriched with warmth and fruit and fragrance. Happy Christmas.

Pecan Plaits and Christmas.

Last week I was feeling slightly sorry for myself so I bought a pecan plait pastry as a temporary fix. I loaded my other shopping into the car boot and decided to eat the plait straight away. I threw it across the open hatchback and the bag landed neatly on the front seat. Closing the boot and licking my lips in anticipation I climbed into the driver's seat and reached over for the bag. To my astonishment, the pecan plait had completely disappeared. I was both disappointed and baffled.
I felt certain the confectionery had been in the bag when I threw it but concluded I must have somehow dropped it into the boot in my haste. I got out of the car and walked round to open the boot again. That's when I discovered the pastry. I picked it up off the floor and ate it right there.

I don't know about you, but for me there are times when some anticipated pleasure turns out to be rather disappointing. 
Christmas is a case in point. You unwrap something and it isn't what you expected or what you wanted. For some people the real meaning of Christmas isn't what they expected or wanted.
A baby in a manger seems a bit uninspiring, even a bit disappointing. But if you stoop down and pick up what has been thrown about so carelessly, you will find the Saviour of the World, the Prince of Peace, the joy of life. God was lying in the dirt so you could reach him and hold him and know him. It wasn't an accident. It was as God's plan. It's a permanent fix, I've discovered it's the way to a life of purpose and fulfillment, (especially on days when I feel a bit sorry for myself.)